A Matter of Life and Death
by lexophile42
Summary: The sequel to "Baby Makes Three". READ THAT ONE FIRST! Just some little bits as Jacob William Tamm grows up onboard Serenity.Should be tons of fun!
1. Chapter 1

"A Matter of Life and Death"

Disclaimer: So, we all remember Jacob William Tamm, right? Then we all know that he's my creation. However, Kaylee and Mal and Simon and Jayne and the rest of the Serenity crew are not my creations.  
They're the property of Joss Whedon, the writer. Joss is Boss. Don't deny it, you know it's true.

* * *

"**Jacob William Tamm, what is the meaning of this**?!" Kaylee's voice rang throughout Serenity, alerting all the crew to the immanent spat.

"Uh… hey, mom," the teenaged boy smiled sheepishly at his mother as he stepped into the engine room, "What's up?"

"**Hydrospanners** in the same box as the **sonic screwdrivers**?" she held up the tool boxes and raised an eyebrow, "I thought I'd raised you better than that, young man."

"I was in a hurry," he scoffed and rolled his eyes, "Dad needed his laser saw fixed and I was hurrying. Remember how Cap'n came back with that shot to the liver? The saw wasn't working; I had to patch it before Mal **died**. I'm **sorry** you're so **OCD** about your tools."

"I guess since it was a matter of life and death," Kaylee sighed and touched her fingers to her forehead, closing her eyes for a moment, "You're allowed three hours off-ship next time we're on Persephone. That's **it**. You're not spending the night at Isaac's again, and you're definitely not running around with that **Cordelia** girl. Understood?"

"Mom, that is sooooo unfair," Jacob shot back, "I saved the Captain's life and you're **grounding** me?!"

"Yes I am," she said with a snarky grin, "You wanna know why?"

"Oh yes, do enlighten us, dearest mother," Jacob glared at her with such power that only a seventeen year old boy could muster.

"Because I'm your mom," she replied loftily, "So, there."

"Hey, Little Man," Jayne paused by the door, a childish grin on his face, "You wanna learn a hundred ways to kill a man using two spoons and a rubber band?"

"I'll see ya later, mom," Jacob gave her a quick hug and happily trotted after the hulking muscle-man.

"Jayne, he's just a boy!" Kaylee yelled after the pair jokingly, fully aware that neither of them cared what she had to say on the subject anyway. "Gets more and more like his father every day…"


	2. Chapter 2

**A Matter of Life and Death**

**Chapter 2: Splivers and Space-Junkies**

* * *

"Dad, this is sooo gross," Jacob groaned as he shoved his finger into the spurting artery, "It's awesome!"

"Just hold it steady, Jacob," Simon directed as he grabbed for a tweezers and a clamp, "You're doing great."

"Is Jayne gonna make it, Dad?" he looked up suddenly from the gaping wound which he had his hand stuck in; searching his father's face, "Tell me the truth."

"Well, if Wash can get us going, then he should--" he paused and clamped shut the artery that Jacob's finger had been in, then began digging for the stray bullet shards, "I think he just might make it."

"Bwaaaa—uuh?" Mal sat bolt upright abruptly, his hand wrapped around an imaginary gun. He couldn't seem to focus on either of the Tamms and had significant trouble forming noises into syllables into words into meaning, "Doc, what are you playin' a-aah-ooow!"

"Hold still, captain," Simon put an arm across the distressed captain's chest to hold him down, "You were shot."

"Not the firsh time thaa'sh happened," he slurred, looking suddenly a bit woozy, "Why're th' four uh youse dancing?"

"Cap'n, sir, there's only two of us," Jacob leaned forward, wiping his blood-covered hands on a damp cloth, "And we're holding quite still."

"As should you be," Simon said firmly, grasping Mal's shoulders and bracing him against the back of the chair, "You were shot in the liver… **again**. That's twice in one month. We're almost out of livers, Captain, and they're not cheap."

"Doc," Jayne's voice startled all three of them as he leaned into the medbay, his chest heaving and red ooze trickling across his brow, "I need to borrow your boy."

"Jayne!" Jacob immediately perked up, his eyes all aglow, "You're back!"

"Had to wrestle off a few guys to get the goods," Jayne wiped the blood from his forehead and grinned, "But we got paid!"

"Jacob, take the patch kit," Simon pointed to the white box atop the counter while restraining Mal with one arm, "I think you might need it."

"I'll make you proud, Dad," Jacob beamed as he grabbed the case and followed Jayne quickly to the galley.

"You don't need that," Jayne scoffed as he glanced back at Jacob, who was following him like a lost puppy, "I just figured you'd seen enough of Cap'n's blood for one day. Doc's got it covered."

"Oh," Jacob glanced down at the front of his shirt and sighed. The hand-painted golden dragon was splattered with dried crimson—a dramatic touch, but rather tacky considering the elegance of the beast. Inara had made it for him. "Right."

"You look like you need a drink, kiddo," the hulking gun-for-hire cocked an eyebrow and took a bottle of cloudy liquid out of one of the cabinets, "It's been a long-ass day."

Jacob smiled and reached for a tumbler, "A long-ass day, indeed."

* * *

(A/N: so... spliver. That's a joke from the Boss himself. "Spliver"-- Space Liver. A liver which was pretty much grown in a petri dish. Oh, in case no one noticed, this is well after "Serenity", but Wash didn't die [obviously]. That whole ordeal is going to be another story unto itself. I'm going to be rewriting a good deal of "Firefly" so I can incorporate my boy, Jacob William Tamm. This is just random drabbles of his teenage years. Happy reading! --Lexxi)


	3. Chapter 3

**A Matter of Life and Death**

**Chapter Three: Chips, Ahoy!**

* * *

"Jacob, you're too young!"Kaylee objected loudly, shaking a finger at her son, "You're too young to do something foolish like that with your money. It just don't make sense for a boy your age to be thinkin' like that."

"Mom, I'm seventeen," he scoffed, "I think I can handle myself."

"Not playin' poker, you can't," she said flatly, "**When** do you play poker, anyway?"

"Me and Cap'n and Jayne play all the time," he answered, crossing his arms, "And they stopped **letting** me win **ages ago**."

"And how's that workin' out?" Kaylee rested her hands on her hips, giving Jacob a maternal glare, "Not so easy playin' for real?"

"I still win."

"How about this," she clapped her hands together and cocked an eyebrow, "If you can beat **me**, I'll let you play on Persephone in the big game. Deal?"

"You are soooo on, Mother-dearest," Jacob grinned, shaking his mother's hand and chuckling, "I'm gonna be in that tourney, just you wait and see."

* * *

"Aaaaw, c'mon, Mom," Jacob groaned as he shoved his remaining chips across the table to his mother's stacks of pseudo-wealth, "Best out of three?"

"Nope," she shook her head, "The deal was one game. I won."

"But Mo-om," he drew out the word as far as he could without sounding too desperate or childish, "That's not fair! Jayne said--"

"Life ain't fair, kiddo," Kaylee grinned, cheerily sorting her poker chips into colour-coded piles, "And that **was **fair. I won; you don't get to play in the tournament. Better luck next year."

Kaylee picked up one of the coins and tossed it playfully at her pouty son. He retaliated, chucking the plastic piece at the precise stacks of chips in front of his mother. The assorted disks sprayed across the table and fell to the floor with little clinks and plops, showering the cold ground with bright colours.

River giggled as she carefully stepped into the galley and picked up a handful of the coloured coins, letting them slip through her fingers as though they were but grains of sand on the beach of gambling and other sinful pleasures. "Chips, ahoy!"

* * *

(A/N: Okay, so the last bit was a bit randomish, but River's a bit randomish; so it works. Happy reading, folks! –Lexxi)


	4. Chapter 4

**A Matter of Life and Death**

**Chapter four: No Power in the 'Verse**

**

* * *

**

"Now remember: no talkin' to strangers," Kaylee adjusted Jacob's coat and wiped the grease smudge off his cheek, "Always aim for the kneecaps; don't shoot without direct orders; and, for God's sake, don't let Cap'n drive the mule."

"That's right, Jacob," Simon put an arm around Kaylee and set a hand on his son's shoulder, "And if there's shooting, it's okay to leave them to die. Well, not your aunt; but it's okay to leave Jayne to die. He can take it."

"Mom, Dad, I'm gonna be fine," Jacob scoffed, hugging his parents close.

They were unconvinced.

"C'mon, you guys know me," he tried to laugh off their worried expressions, "Besides, I'll have River with me!"

"Okay," Kaylee finally smiled and wrapped her arms around her son, "Be safe."

"Seriously, Mom," he chuckled, embracing his mother and father, "What's the worst that could happen?"

* * *

"Okay, so," Mal held his hands aloft, slowly backing away from the fuming bar patrons, "My coat's sort of a brownish colour. It's not the end of the gorram world. There's lots of fellers in there with brownish coats on."

"Cap'n, should I get out my gun now?" Jacob asked tentatively, reaching for the holster strapped to his hip, "Just in case?"

"Nah, they're not gonna do nothin'," the captain grinned to the youth, "Just a couple uh drunks who're behind in the news, that's all."

"Captain, sir," Zoë approached quickly, cocking her own gun, and pointed it into the centre of the grouping, "Husband's on his way. Where the hell's Jayne?"

"He was drinking his volatile beverage and calling the gentleman in the blue suit a 'smurf'," River replied softly, standing behind Jacob, "But he's on his way now."

Jayne cleared a path through the thick crowd, tossing a barstool into the midst of them. "It's not my fault they don't unnerstand a joke round these parts!"

"Jayne, calling a man in blue a 'smurf' ain't no way to make friends," Mal informed the stumbling man as they regrouped to face the mob once again as a quinet, "'**Specially** not in these parts."

"Clear out, everyone," announced Wash over his loud speaker as Serenity approached from behind the crew, "Clear out, or I swear to every single one of your personal gods, I will blow a new hole in this tiny moon."

* * *

"Never gets old," guffawed Jayne as he helped himself to the protein-based meal of the evening, "New hole in this tiny moon!"

"It's amazing how it **always** works, too," Wash laughed as well, "But it would be a lot easier if you all just stopped getting into bar fights over Mal's jacket."

"What? A man can't get a drink because of the colour of his coat?" Mal asked indignantly, glaring at the two, "This gorram world is out to get us in all manner of new ways."

"Don't worry, Cap'n," Jacob grinned at everyone, "No power in the 'verse can stop **us**."

* * *

(A/N: Of course I had to have that line in there at some point! It just wouldn't be Firefly without that line… or a bar fight. Happy reading, folks! –Lexxi)


	5. 2010

**Updates for the new year...**

The following stories are up for adoption:

A Doctor for the Doctor (this is one that I would like to be kept in the loop about by whoever adopts it)

Heart of Gold (this is one that I could just as easily write off as a dead-in-the-water story and just leave it)

A Matter of Life and Death (actually, I just need a cowriter or two to keep this one going)

Doctor Who Bloopers (again, I just need a cowriter or two or three to keep this one going)

* * *

Stories that are no longer available for adoption:

Viva Rock Vegas (adopted by "ottawawolf" -- /u/2047635/ottawawolf)

* * *

Impending updates:

Jack Who- I have revived my dead writing laptop and have recovered the final chapters of this story, which means it will soon be COMPLETE!!

Ethereal Nonsense- I'm finally getting around to finishing this one and will also be working on panels for the actual comic.

Bananas for Her- pretty much the same as Jack Who, except it's still got quite a bit of work to be done before it is COMPLETE.

* * *

Hang in there, folks. I haven't forgotten about ya!!


End file.
